Walking the Shoreline

The journey of someone just like you, on a journey just like you

7 Dating Pressures That Didn’t Exist 30 Years Ago

The love advice that used to work so well doesn’t fully apply in a new world. Here are 7 dating pressures that didn’t exist 30 years ago.

Dating Pressures Overly Attached

This past Sunday night I went out with one of my favourite couples. They’re great leaders and mentors to probably hundreds of people (no exaggeration), and I’m fortunate to call them friends. Something I’ve really enjoyed in the last 10 or so years is branching out in my friendships beyond my age group. Being in my 20s, it’s very rewarding for me to not just stick to people in my own set of life experiences, but those who are further ahead. And this couple in particular is winning in so many areas of life that they truly are two amazing people to learn from in a whole lot of areas. Continue reading

Chrono Cross Is The Best Game Ever Made

The girl who stole the stars, trapped within a memory, and the journey for her thoughts may cost you everything – here’s why Chrono Cross is the best game ever made.

Source: Brilliant art by Yuffie at zerochan. Check them out at http://www.zerochan.net/136806

Source: Brilliant art by Yuffie at zerochan. Check them out at http://www.zerochan.net/136806

The opening sentence above is not what most people would expect out of a  video game. I meet many people even today who are surprised that video games can have a story at all. And yet to me, the story of one girl is one of the many reasons why I consider Chrono Cross to be the best game ever made. Released in 1999 for the PlayStation, this game is a piece of art. And so if you’re a gaming aficionado, or just someone who likes deep stories, read on. A lot of my readers enjoy reading posts that reveal a lot about who I am, and if you’re in that category but not a huge gamer, give this one a read anyway – it might show you a bit more about what makes me tick (particularly the last section of this review). Continue reading

My Relient K Air For Free Review

After the polarizing Collapsible Lung, how did Relient K do with their latest album? All I can say is, “Welcome back, boys” – here’s my Air For Free review.

Air For Free Review

Relient K was a band I grew up with. During my teenage years I got introduced to the 5 man band, and they were an instant fit. It seemed like for anything going on at any season of your life, Relient K had a song for it. Needing some extra energy to keep going? Pressing On. Dealing with some decisions? For The Moments I Feel Faint. Big difficult issues in your life you need to process? Let It All Out. Need a deep theological joruney? You could look at Be My Escape, Devastation and Reform, Deathbed, In Like A Lion… lots of their songs fit that category very well. On top of that, pretty much any song they ever wrote was a standout, thanks in large part to Matt Thiessen’s excellent skills as a true wordsmith, and some great musicality. The album Forget and Not Slow Down was a masterpiece that could only be listened in its entirety, not just with single songs, simply because of the excellent musical and emotional journey the album took you on. Anything less was missing out on the full experience. Their Christmas album is on rotation on my music players literally the whole year long.

Following some excellent karaoke albums (pretty much glorified cover albums, with some of the best covers you’d ever hear of Motorcycle Drive By, Everybody Wants to Rule the World and the unforgettable harmonies on Africa), the boys at Relient K released the polarizing Collapsible Lung. Some people loved it, and some people absolutely hated it. Personally, I enjoyed about half the album, with the other half of the songs marking a severe shift in themes and what some reviewers called a shift in morality throwing me off regularly listening to the remainder. Something I did value about it was the honesty the guys had on the album, obviously now charting some of their experiences as men getting more advanced in years. We can’t stay at the Sadie Hawkins Dance forever, and some of the lyrics clearly reflected some of the well chronicled issues the boys have faced, namely divorce, depression and life on the road. I think the lyrics of the title song reflected exactly where things stood – “Between the miles of open road, I lost sight of what might matter the most, traveled into the great unknown and found time can’t slow down”. After this time, a bunch of the band members left for whatever reason, and it was once again back down the two originals, Matt Thiessen and Matt Hoopes.

And so here comes their most recent album, Air For Free. How does this one hold up? Let’s find out. First I’ll start with my overall thoughts on the album, then move to a track by track Air For Free review.

A return to form

My first thought after buying and listening to the entirety of Air For Free was, “Welcome back, boys”. This is definitely a return to form in terms of many of the issues people had with the previous album. That’s not to say it isn’t honest or that it fails to capture the raw aspects of life – quite the opposite actually. While the sound initially sounds much more light hearted, the songs of Air For Free cover a whole breadth of topics. At 16 songs, it’s a pretty ambitious album, and they continue to hammer life’s big issues in a relatable way.

Definitely pop meets alternative

I think much to the chagrin of a number of members of the original Relient K fanbase, Relient K definitely isn’t a pop punk band any more. Gone is the grungy earthy feel of songs like Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been or I Need You, but in truth I think that shift happened as early as Forget and Not Slow Down. And it’s a good thing. These guys have evolved very well in my opinion. This album definitely feels like a very natural progression musically from Collapsible Lung, blending their signature alternative feel with a much more pop driven sound. A lot of people who’ve reviewed the album so far have said the album feels like it all sounds the same, but I don’t think they do. Every song feels distinct to me, with their own signature hook and progression.

And one thing I do really enjoy on this album is just how much these songs all feel like they take you on a musical journey, with shifts in musical tone perfectly reflecting the shift in the focus of the lyrics. Thiessen and Hoopes have always been excellent at writing music, and this is probably their best album musically by quite a bit, and, with the excellent track record of Relient K, that’s saying a lot.

Track By Track

So here we go, let’s have a look at each of these songs. I’ve included the song Look On Up on here which was a single released shortly before the Air For Free album was released, and grouped it in here as an honourable mention type deal. Plus it’s great.

Bummin’ – The fun “welcome to the album” song. For the fans of the punk roots of Relient K, this is the throwback track musically, dominated with some grungy electric guitar pieces, but complimented by the much higher singing style of the new Relient K. An opening track about making mistakes and trying to get things right.

Local Construction – As soon as this song was done, I realised that this album would once again feature the excellent writing skills Thiessen is known for. A piano funk sound that charts the feelings of personal growth. Like local construction, it feels like it’s never done. An excellent analogy.

Mrs. Hippopotamuses’ – Not gonna lie, this is one of my favourites on the album. Nothing super profound here, but a very sports fan heavy song about growing up and remembering your roots, complete with the “Here We Go Brownies” chants. “There’s nothing better than knowing where you’ve come from” is definitely the memorable angle of this track.

Cat – Another well written upbeat track, about living a long life and sometimes being unrecognizable in the decisions we make during growth.

Man – A pretty profound reflection on growing up. Matt has a bit of a look at his last 6 years, and becoming the person you know you already are inside, even if the outside doesn’t always match. “Wave goodbye as I outgrow the shadow of Peter Pan, it’s time to be a man” – brilliant. Also a song with a powerful musical progression, starting a bit more mellow and growing to pick up the pace as the lyrics reflect on how the clock continues to tick by at the same time.

Air For Free – Okay, I’m not a huge fan of this one. Purely because I really don’t ever remember much from it, even after listening to it quite a bit. But, it’s the title track, so there you go.

God – Relient K’s faith journey has been under the spotlight a bit in recent years, but this song is an honest cry about a man who believes in God and love, and still struggles with his belief. It’s an upbeat track that obviously reflects the light re-entering life after some darker times.

Elephant Parade – The parody song. I love it. Such a fun sound. It sounds like a mix of The Jungle Book with Looney Tunes, but it’s another song about taking ownership and love. Another song that has a fantastic musical progression, almost completely changing into a new song about two thirds into the song.

Mountaintop – I was actually listening to this song on top of a mountain yesterday, and it’s great. This is a happy song about love, and how much someone can mean to you. Roadtrip song for days.

Sleepin’ – This song is a way too happy song about insomnia, but it’s another fun one. Easy listening but really well thought out.

Empty House – The autotune song. Lots of people aren’t liking the autotune for some reason. Personally, I think the autotune song in this song just adds to the haunting pain of what this song is trying to convey. “Nothing but an empty house, living without you”. A song about loss and feeling lost as a result.

Flower – Another song about love, with a tinge of loss mingled in. This song is a very real look at the progression and desires of love, and actually quite a moving song that reflects the masculine side of the love journey. This was the song where I realized just how profound the issues this album was covering really were. I have to quote a full verse here:

I think about everything else
And I know that I must love myself
‘Til anyone other than me
Can look and then see what I see
And sense where the harmony dwells…
Do you hear wedding bells?

Marigold – This is my favourite track. It starts with a cute story about how Matt got some flowers from school and brought them home to his mum, who told them they were weeds. Then he compares himself to a weed, and yet he had still been chosen. It’s just way too nice a thought, and actually really beautiful. The build to the bridge is unforgettable, and I literally smile every time it comes on. It sounds like a sunrise, and even has some sort of Christmas/jubilant bell chiming through it.

Runnin’ – This is another song in the vein of Deathbed, and one longtime fans of Relient K will really enjoy. I’m not sure if this is about a fictional character like Deathbed was, but this song hits some very real themes of someone losing their parents and being forced into the “care” of others, but still ending somewhat hopeful and trying to relate to others. Really well done.

Prodigal – This one is a bit of an experimental track. Those looking for a theological Relient K throwback will find it here. A prayer about returning to God even after doing so many wrong things and keeping busy.

Heartache – A recovery song. It describes a painful experience that could turn into something darker, but about pressing forward. “I will not let my heart ache, I won’t be treading water, waiting on a wave”. Once again, another song that feels like multiple songs in one. I really like how the song ends with the holiness of recovery, and finding your way. Great stuff.

Look On Up – As I mentioned above, this isn’t specifically on this album per say, but I’ve grouped it with this album since they came out in related time windows. And this one is a very clever song about not living your life behind a lens. It features a shoutout to Brisbane (I’m a Brisbane boy) and a very clever lyric with suitable ambiguity between whether Matt is talking about technology or his own efforts in living – “It’s time I put down my devices and I start to live my life”.

So, what do I reckon about Air For Free? I love it. I have been telling some of my friends who were turned off by Collapsible Lung to give this one a shot. This is a return to form, a fun album to listen to, musically diverse, and truly brilliant. Go pick it up. Right now. I know this album, like so many other Relient K albums before it, is going to be in my playlists for a long time to come.

What did you think of Air For Free? Did you like it as much as I did, or the songs that I liked the most? Would love to hear your experiences with it.

Meeting The Right Person at the Wrong Time

“Nothing is sadder than meeting the right person at the wrong time”. Is it actually possible for this to happen?

Meeting The Right Person At The Wrong Time

Source: Entertainment One

Memes are a fascinating creature. Last week I saw so many memes pertaining to a particular contestant on the current Australian season of The Bachelor, comparing her to Donald Trump and Jabba the Hutt. Personally I thought she was pretty attractive and didn’t really get the mass hate she was getting, but thanks to some female friends at a party it was explained to me that she is seen as massively unattractive because of her cruel/shallow personality (thanks girls), and memes were the primary way people were expressing themselves. In fact, a university recently started an Internet Culture degree, citing the justification that memes and internet culture are a primary way society now expresses itself. Not too wrong there actually as our poor friend on The Bachelor is finding out.

And so with this in mind, I was amazed at a particular set of memes going around in the last few weeks on topic to the title of this post, namely about meeting the right person at the wrong time.  Continue reading

Analysing The One Date Rule

You’ve given them at least one chance… now what? Here’s an analytical look at The One Date Rule.

The One Date Rule

Source: The Bachelor

Also known as The One Coffee Rule.

If you know me, you’ll know I’m quite the logical processor of life. I really like thinking things through. Heck, my last post was exactly about this phenomenon – you can give that one a read here. And so today’s big life topic that’s going under the microscope – The One Date Rule. Thanks to a bunch of people I was talking to about this one recently, as well as those I’ve talked with about this in the past. This one is for you.

The One Date Rule is the notion that every person deserves at least one shot. No matter what he looks like, no matter how confronting she may have been when she brought it up, no matter whether or not you think they’re your type, hey, let’s give it a shot. They get at least One Date, One Coffee, One Breakfast, One Hour Long Conversation – whatever package you want to present as an opportunity – they get a go at it with you. Or you with them, depending on your perspective.

This one gets quite a lot of use in a whole bunch of different circles, whether you’re younger, older, religious, secular, a people person or someone who feels a bit more obscure, I have heard this one get a whole bunch of use. The original idea of this is that you should give someone at least one chance. If they were brave enough, or you were brave enough, to put it forward, there’s going to be at least one period of time allocated to seeing if there’s anything more here. It’s to help us avoid us saying no to what could be potentially the very best thing that could ever happen to us.

So is this a good thing? A bad thing? Let’s have a look.

Keeping your options open

I think whoever made this a thing initially was on to something here, and it’s this: we don’t always know what we want. We pre-judge people and box people quite emphatically over sometimes very little information. Look at Tinder or eHarmony. Based on a short blurb and a picture, we instantly put someone in an eligible or AH RUN AWAY! category. People we have grown familiar with over time, perhaps long time friends, or people we’ve known for a few weeks or months in a non-romantic context, have already been placed in a certain type of relationship with us.

I think the point of this rule is, hey, you have to give it a chance.

The next question would be how much of a chance someone should get.

Not wanting to waste time

I think another dimension that this rule was born out of was not wanting to waste your time, or someone else’s time. After all, relationships are huge time investments… and that’s if they even work out. Let’s have a look at a really basic timeframe for how people might see things going:

  • Feeling out, or will we/won’t we process – 1-3 months (longer or shorter, just a ballpark figure here)
  • Focused dating period – 6-36 months
  • Engagement – 6-24 months

Add to that a 3-6 month mourning/moving on period if this one doesn’t work out (sometimes less, sometimes longer for some people) and we’re already looking in the order of years to determine whether or not we want to make a lifelong commitment to someone. This is why I always laugh when people say they’re still young. You might be now, but at the end of the process with this person, you might not be as young. You could start dating at 20 and be 26 by the time it all goes through. although it’s funny how those timeframes shrink as we get older. Have one or two not go the way you planned and you might be a bit older than you thought later on. It’s an expensive amount of time to spend with someone. If people are given at least the one shot, you can quickly work out whether or not they’re worth any more time.

…Or can you?

A lot of pressure

So you’ve had the one date. You took her out for a nice dinner, he agreed to see you at your favourite coffee place. You spend a good 2-3 hours talking or doing some activity. Maybe you’ve known them for ages, or maybe you met at the date. What happens next?

Well, it depends on how you feel the first meeting went, doesn’t it? If you don’t think you gelled very well, or if you’re not feeling it, then you might write it off. If you were ecstatic and elated the whole time, you’ll be waiting for the next phone call.

But is one date really enough information to go off of?

One thing us guys are advised fairly strongly on is ensuring you don’t go too extravagant on the first date, because you might scare her off. Don’t bring a massive wedding bouquet of flowers, don’t buy her that 18 carat necklace, don’t rent out the entire Cocklebay Wharf on Darling Harbour cause she’s your Darling, all the rest of it. However, if there is all this decision pressure riding on your first date to make or break the direction of the relationship and you will literally judge its entire direction off this one moment, well, maybe he should be more extravagant. Or vice versa. If she had known you were going to base your entire relationship direction on how emotional you were after your first liason, maybe she would’ve worn her best elongated Bond-lady esque dress. 

Expecting too much from a first date?

Over the course of time, some male and female friends of mine have started to refer to The One Date Rule as The Only One Date Rule. It’s because usually the surrounding stigma is that people don’t get at least one shot – they only get one shot – to win your heart over completely, or it’s game over.

And don’t get me wrong – I’ve had plenty of friends who’ve gone on a first blind date with a stranger, or a more romantic talk with a long-time friend, and gotten a sense immediately that this was the person they were going to marry.

But it’s definitely not the majority. 

I think we play a dangerous game in our dating where we put so much pressure on that first date. We barely give the other person enough opportunity to breathe because we turn it into a job interview for the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Even those companies will afford their candidates multiple opportunities and give them a chance to prove themselves, and yet here we are oftentimes ready to shut someone down based on one conversation.

For some people, love is an immediate lightning strike, but for most people, love takes time. It comes softly. It’s built on repeatedly shared experiences with someone who has been seen to have qualities you might be interested in. Heck, even the people who’ve had the lightning strike need to build the shared experiences or they ain’t going nowhere, Jack.

How available are we really?

I think the dating experience is as much an experience in discovering and confronting yourself as it is discovering the life of another. I had a friend who recently got married who quoted in his speech a conversation we had a while ago, in that relationships are like mirrors. They’re reflecting what’s going on inside of us more often than they are about another person.

Many of the decisions we make on our emotions and friendships are really ruled by other things. Things like insecurities. Things like desperate frustrations with ourselves. Things like uncertainty and instability. Or things like a heart that is completely jammed up. Blocked off to the outside world. Hesitant or scared to trust or to let anyone else in.

And here comes this poor person who saw the For Sale sign on your front door and made an offer, and now has to sit confronted with the reality that there are still tenants in that house, and it isn’t really as available as it was made out to be.

The process of love

I guess all this to say that I think we need to be careful how much pressure we put on people to perform to a standard of changing our heart when we are actually the ones in control of our own hearts. Even God doesn’t force a change in decisions or emotions in people – it’s a process of renewing our mind.

And so it is a process of two lives coming together. And it’s a messy one. Because you’re changing, and I’m changing, and I feel a certain way now, and now I feel a different way, and today I’m certain, and tomorrow I’m not, and today I’m up, but tomorrow I’m down, and today I’m with you, but tomorrow I’m lonely.

And in the midst of all the change in us individually is the hope that we can find someone to change with together. But if my heart is only kind of open to opportunity, then I may miss what really needs to happen to bring two people together.

The truth is we could fall in love with just about anybody. People love all sorts of things vehemently – Pokemon Go, The Bachelor, the Brisbane Broncos. All of us have loved or have known those who have loved “the wrong person”. We’re certainly capable of doing it. And yet when it comes to the right kind of people, the same activities we would do to foster an interest on any of the above categories, we hesitant and dance around when it’s another human being.

We just need to allow it to grow with the right person.

And what makes them the right person? I don’t know. You might. Maybe you really did have it all locked down in your first meeting with the last few girls. Maybe you really did know that it “would never work” with that guy when you thought about it.

Or maybe it’s another thing that’s driving our decisions. Something less endearing. Or maybe it is that we really aren’t giving things enough of a chance. Maybe that One Date Rule really needs to increase in numbers, or we need to get rid of it turning into the Only One Date Rule.

Take a chance. Let love take flight.

How about you? Do you think One Date is enough to know that you know that you know? Would you base a relationship off just your first meeting?

My Struggle: A Logical Mind in an Emotional World

Driven by what seems to make sense, but in a world of feelings – here’s a look at one of my biggest internal struggles in life: Being a logical mind in an emotional world.

A logical mind in an emotional world

A shot from Sai Kung, Hong Kong. A bunch of people said this photo looked contemplative, but really it was me just trying to see a stingray that was in the water

For as long as I can remember, I have taken a very structured approach to life. From the earliest ages, my family assured me that I was born 40. Not like Benjamin Button style, but in terms of how I interact with the world. I enjoy good conversation, I like having my ducks in a row, I try to be organized when it comes to events or career, and I don’t usually enjoy unnecessary lead times or standing idle when there’s something that needs to be done. Not always the sort of approach you expect a young child to have, but even in those younger years and into this point of life even now, it’s the approach that others would regularly encounter me taking. One of my older female friends refers to me as “a bit of an old soul”.

To me, in a lot of ways, every issue has a root cause, every end has a beginning, and every decision can be traced back to the ones that came before it. “a + b = c”. I live in the analytical left and I’m probably one of the most logical types of people that my friends know.

So what’s my struggle? It isn’t with the logical aspect of life necessarily, but rather with how this sort of mind interacts with a world that isn’t always logical. Where other people are seemingly driven by factors beyond those that “make sense”. In short, my struggle is being a logical mind in an emotional world.

A track record of success

I think I’ve got to acknowledge firstly that there is a strong reason why I have maintained this approach to life over the years. And the reason is this:

It works.

No, it really does. And it’s rarely actually off the mark.

Let’s take my career for example. I work in IT. I’m a software consultant. Throughout my entire career, I have made a living out of successfully negotiating various logical paths in computer software to help produce some pretty fully featured things. Different services, websites and products, formed of an extended set of logic that drives every decision the application makes. I’ve now been a consultant in this world for a number of years, and have been involved in running and/or advising teams of people around creating and maintaining software, and all the decisions around it. Even outside of the software itself, many problems in the business world can be solved by following a logical train of thought. If a project is starting to blow its budget, then there’s a cause for it. There is some problem with either the way we estimated the project, with a team member’s direction or skill level or morale, or with part of the business process we are following. 100% of the time, following this thought process through produces a helpful and usually profitable result.

But beyond that, I have found that logical approaches also work with people. While not everyone always wants to be reminded or is aware of it at the time, there is usually a root issue behind whatever the surface issue is. For instance, I’ve seen people blow up at other people “out of the blue”. Is it because they suddenly had a lapse of judgment and lashed out for no reason? No. If you probe a bit further, you’ll find that there has been something happen to them earlier in their day, or even earlier in their life, that has come into conflict with whatever situation has been presented to them. When someone’s behaviour is entirely destructive, it’s usually because the heart of the person is frustrated or lost. When there is a negative feeling of loneliness or frustration, it’s usually because of someone’s continued thought patterns down a certain direction, or a continued pattern of isolation… which also has its reasons for being. Just ask any psychologist and they’ll let you know their main job is to guide people towards the right decisions, but also in helping them recognize their true triggers and sources of doubt or difficulty.

I find the truth is much more matter of fact than it is emotional.

My source of feelings

That’s not to say I don’t have feelings. I actually have massive feelings. I feel both good and bad experiences in a massive way. In fact, you wouldn’t even believe how big the feelings are I’ve had while writing this. I just find that my feelings follow my decisions. For instance, if I see an event happening at work, my logical mind will find the situation, examine all the reasons why the situation is good or bad, and based on my internal assessment, I will find myself gleeful in celebration, or quickly building anger or frustration and going to have “one of those” sorts of conversations.

In my relationships, even moreso. I think about a number of the people I’ve pursued in my life, and it has always started with a logical train of thought. I’ll see a person, spend quite a bit of time with them (intentionally), allow myself to see them for who they are in all their qualities and seasons and interactions, consider whether or not we enjoy each other’s company and are heading in a similar direction, and make a decision on suitability. I find once I’ve thought it through and made a decision either way, my feelings grow in that direction.

Not just romantically, but friends, family, work relationships, all the rest of it. It’s the same thing. Assess, process, feel. Usually in that order. I don’t usually allow my feelings to go first – to me, I believe any feelings that I have are already following whatever decisions I’m making, whether consciously or otherwise.

If it makes logical sense, if I’ve sought all the advice and spent a suitable amount of time processing whatever it is, my heart will follow soon thereafter.

The point of conflict

If you’re not this type of person, you’ve already seen a point of conflict with what you’ve read so far, and if you are this sort of person, you can relate. Either way, both types of people know where my struggle lies, and that is in interfacing with others who aren’t as structured or formatted as I am.

That’s not to say I don’t get along with people. Quite the contrary – I love people, and I strive for peace with all men and women. I know there are definitely people who don’t like me (I could even name some of them), but for the most part, my interactions with others are pretty pleasant. I’m a big believer in grace and forgiveness – in giving people chances to grow and become all they’re meant to be.

And yet in my own life I’ve had to balance all this with the inner frustration of running into decisions that you could deem “illogical”. The ones that don’t seem to make sense. When someone’s initial words or behaviour go one way, but then the follow up goes another. In a similar vein, people in these sorts of boats find me frustrating because I have set my formulaic approach that is not playing nicely with their approach where a + b might equal c, but it doesn’t mean c is the answer. In fact, I can think of several big conversations in different areas of my life that have literally started with another person (or a few people) saying, “It is logical, but…”

Factors beyond logic

But maybe it’s not that their behaviour is illogical – perhaps it is that there are factors beyond logic that are more important in their decision making process. Namely, feelings. Ironically, I understand this very well, as my personality type is actually feelings heavy. The conflict is that my personality type seems to be a contradiction of itself. But what do you do when logic says one thing, but your heart says something else?

And my logical mind would continue to go down this train of thought with a few different answers to that question. First of all, how can you understand a situation when you can’t even understand yourself? I think most of the worst decisions we all make in our lives are around a failure to understand or face what’s going on within our own hearts. I think back to times I’ve snapped at people or locked myself in a world of anxiety, and it’s been because I haven’t properly allowed a deep enough understanding of myself to develop. I haven’t been in touch with my own decision making process and led myself into a place of feeling trapped (even inducing panic attacks in one particular work situation). As a man thinks in his heart, so he is.

Another thought that comes to mind is that the heart is deceitful above all else. This is probably why I don’t usually follow mine unless I’ve done the due diligence of working it through. Or rather, as described above, I find my heart following the accepted train of thought in my mind. And there are so many examples of really terrible or nearsighted decisions being made by listening immediately to the feelings of the heart on their own. Relationships that shouldn’t have started because there were so many factors that would lead to a dead end… or relationships that should have started, but didn’t for lack of the actions that lead to intimacy and developed trust. Fights with friends over stupid small things that were actually triggered because of a bigger feeling in the heart. Walking away from truth because of an immediate sense that it doesn’t seem to be working out right now. And yet on the other side, the desires of our heart can be very directional in leading us into the path we should take.

The final thought is that we have to learn to live with the decisions of others, whether logical, illogical, or some combination in the middle. Whether it be that the path of logic leads us against each other, or our feelings are incompatible, we have to learn to negotiate life with others in the event we reach the point of conflict. At the crossroads of our disagreements, where will we go from here? Will we adhere to a common path, or decide to go our separate ways? Will we allow ourselves to be challenged, or will we accept our current train of thought or emotional state as the final word?

What’s the right answer? Yes. No. Maybe. All of the above.

And I’m sure you can relate. We all face this in our approach to life. Head or heart, logic or feelings, reason or intuition. I think faith lives in both. In some ways, faith is the most illogical choice you can make, but since it’s always the right one, it’s also the most logical choice to make.

I guess we are all on our journey, trying to find our path. Where do we go from here? The answer, my friend, is up to you and me.

Thanks for coming on this little introspective ride with me. I’ve done quite a few of these sorts of posts and people always tell me in person, comments or messages (yes I see them all!) that these sorts of posts resonate with them, so hopefully this one resonates with you too. How about you? Do you find yourself driven by logic? Or are you on the other end of the spectrum and in regular conflict with people like me? Would love to hear from you.

Should You Get Back With An Ex?


They say Never Say Never, and Tay Tay says Never Ever Ever Ever Ever, but should you get back with an ex?

I recently was away for a weekend with a bunch of mates at an Air BnB type thing (where you rent a holiday house for a few days) up the Sunshine Coast in Queensland. It was a pretty legit weekend. The house had an older style iPod dock, and I still have an old skool iPod Classic, meaning my music ended up in the rotation over the weekend. If you know anything about the iPod Classic, it’s massive, and it had literally every song I’d ever come across on my devices over the years. Over the weekend, an old song by Guy Sebastian came on called Elevator Love. Guy Sebastian was the winner of the first winner of Australian Idol here in the land down under, and for a while most of his music was absolutely everywhere. Continue reading

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