OK Boomer, But Let’s Talk About Your Generation’s Mistakes

I’ve gotta say it – I cringe at the utter hypocrisy when an older generation criticize a younger one. Let’s talk about your generation’s mistakes.

Which generation am I talking about? Well, all of them, but let’s get there.

I think we’re all pretty familiar with generational criticism. Being a millenial AKA Gen Y, we still cop it all the time in news media. The only one who have it worse are Gen Z – so far Alphas are too young to receive the constant barrage of articles and anecdotal criticism from members of the older generations.

But we’ll get to them.

It seems that every one to two days, a prominent news site puts up some dig about how “younger people” are this, that, and thus. Now granted, the media is an outrage machine that profits on starting fights in comment sections, so fair enough.

But when enough of the old guard decide to reshare and comment to death in front of all the people who are younger than them, consistently, maybe it’s time for the kettle to have a chat with the pot.

Let’s have a look at a number of examples, and I have a few thoughts as to why this is hypocrisy at its finest, a manifestation of old pride, and truly ignorant and destructive.

And also, how my generation, and your generation, is not entirely innocent in this area.

The common complaints from Boomers and Xers

For simplicity’s sake, let’s start with the most vocal group currently in their complaints about Millenials and Gen Z – the Boomers and the Xers. Those born between 1946 and 1980. If you see an article complaining about the young, the author and its proponents and reshares more than likely came from someone born in this window.

Time Magazine launched the most scathing and probably widespread attack, for lack of better term, on millenials about 10 years ago with a front page article claiming that millenials are “lazy entitled narcissists who still live with their parents” – the “Me Me Me” generation. They love taking photos of themselves on their phone, they don’t like talking to other people over their technology, They’re entitled and cocky and want the world to revolve around them. Ouch.

Leadership guru Simon Sinek says that millenials are hard to manage – wanting to feel special, wanting participation medals instead of hard earned results, and lacking joy.

Gen Z is criticized regularly for having the worst mental health of any generation. Their financial advice is apparently entirely TikTok driven and they have no adequate thoughts on how to treat the older generations.

All these young generations keep breaking their families apart and abusing their elders. They don’t want to work hard. They’re financially illiterate.

Disrespect, self seeking, shutting everyone out.

Unlike back in MY day. We never had these sort of problems in the 30s, the 50s, the 70s… and certainly no one over 40 has any sort of problems now… right?

And you know, there is a fair bit of merit to some of these complaints, especially when you dive into the statistics.

However, my problem is not that these things get said. I myself regularly write about the problems that my generation and those younger struggles with or has struggled with, especially in relationships and purpose. There are paths and answers that all of us can take to improve our quality of life and find and be who we were born to be.

My problem is that the criticism is said from a platform and with a tone and assertion that these are new problems that the previous generation never had a problem with.

After all, the way Xers and Boomers usually share their articles and commentary, they sound like perfect people with no flaws, who never had any anti social tendencies… right?

Calling out your generation’s mistakes

OK Boomer, or Xer, or whoever you are – it’s time for you to meet the mirror.

You call us antisocial on our phones, where we actively continue relationships with hundreds or even thousands of people, staying engaged and involved in people’s lives for decades of our lives on a near daily basis, however whenever your generation went anywhere:

That’s right – you hid from your bus neighbours, your families and your children in your books and newspapers. We were there, we remember exactly how it was. Same problem you complain about – just you killed more trees to do it. I wonder how many millions of children grew up with a parent who hid from their world and called it cultured.

You had phone calls between 6 and 9pm on weeknights with the same 3 people in your life, and when you didn’t feel like it, you left your phone off the hook or didn’t answer your machine. But it’s us who are antisocial and withdrawn, sure.

You say we’re financially illiterate. However, a 2021 American study showed Gen X and Boomers, rather than having it all paid off over time, have on average a $10000-60000 higher level of debt than the younger generations. A further study showed Gen X and Boomers actually have higher incidences of credit card debt, and another went so far as to say these generations were spending away their kids’ inheritance. Whoops.

You say that young people don’t know how to stay together. However, it actually was and continues to be Boomers who have and continue to have the highest rate of divorce, leaving younger generations coming from broken homes and from parents who refused to admit or change their own contributions to the brokenness. Addictions, untreated mental health issues, and bitterness still reign.

Millenials and Gen Z are and have been much more likely to seek professional help to resolve mental health challenges and issues originating from their family of origin and all the problems the previous generations tolerated, enabled, and passed on to their children, and to see tangible change in their family cycles. Rather than hiding destructive secrets, NAMI reports these generations are willing to seek help and not afraid to shine a light on the problems that have existed, as opposed to their parents and grandparents.

Wait, what do you mean my generation still keeps too many secrets and hurts people and can also be known to do exactly the same things? Shhh, I’m trying to make a point here.

There is a lot of criticism of the younger generations cutting off familial ties, however as studies show, this has been happening in all previous generations with a different coat of paint and form of withdrawal, and many parents are unwilling to accept their contribution to the destruction of a relationship. The APA reports that one of the most healthy and helpful things that often does not occur is that older people in this boat accept the need to change and the factors that have led to the seemingly dramatic response.

I mean, millenials have never ever struggled with the need to change or improve themselves. I think.

Shush you, I’m on a roll here.

Alcohol Help reports that Boomers and Xers have the highest incidence of alcohol consumption and abuse in today’s day and age, not talking historically where a lack of education or awareness could be a contributor. You criticize young people’s parties while you drink yourself to sleep, and do nothing about all your friends and peers who are doing the same.

For every criticism labelled against the current middle generations, here’s some from your own parents, and then their parents:

“Many [young people] were so pampered nowadays that they had forgotten that there was such a thing as walking, and they made automatically for the buses… unless they did something, the future for walking was very poor indeed.”

Scottish Rights of Way: More Young People Should Use Them, Falkirk Herald, 1951

“We defy anyone who goes about with his eyes open to deny that there is, as never before, an attitude on the part of young folk which is best described as grossly thoughtless, rude, and utterly selfish.”

The Conduct of Young People, Hull Daily Mail, 1925

Yeah, take that, your parents and grandparents criticised your generation too! And each other, I guess. Hmm, it seems like maybe one generation’s treatment of the next is important, or something.

And those freaking millenials, we’ve gotta go after them. The Gen Zers have taken over TikTok to point out all their flaws and problems all the while they pass on their own criticisms to the next generation. Take that ya freaking mill…

Wait a sec… what was that? My generation is doing the same to the next one? Can’t be.

And what’s that? Gen Z is talking smack about Alphas? The generation under me is already gathering enough of a critical argument about the generation under them? What is going on?!

Look, back in my day, we weren’t proud, stubborn people who were ignorant of their own problems and needs and did… exactly… the same thing… their parents… and grandparents did… as their great grandparents did to their parents and grandparents…

I mean, it’s only the next generation who has problems, right? Me and my friends, my acquaintances, my school cohort grown up – we’ve got it going on socially, spiritually, physically and mentally. We’re flawless – it’s the next generation who sucks. They need to lift their game, stop being so selfish, pull their chin in, they need to…

And our generation used to have problems maybe, but it doesn’t now. We’re not stubborn. We’re not selfish. We’re not…

Proud.

Rolling with the punches… or passing them on?

It seems that older people have always criticised the next generations, all the while doing little to nothing about their current issues in their tone. Rather than observing a problem about a younger person and what they could do to fix it, they sit on the high horse, spouting self-righteous criticism from their chair, and doing little else.

I loved this article compiling dozens of quotes I found on the BBC that highlights just how many decades, centuries… millenia, this attitude has been perpetuated. That my generation is smart, and your generation is dumb.

I think when you stop helping others, when you stop contributing to the lives of those around you, an observation of a problem with say relationships or dating or finances goes from “hey, that’s wrong, let me help you find a path forward”, to that Roald Dahl classic line, “I’m big you’re little I’m smart you’re dumb I’m right you’re wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

And this is the chief of your generation’s mistakes – that I see problems that I do nothing about, and I criticize without helping.

I think it was the Good Teacher who said something about logs and specks in eyes… how did that go again?

I hope you’ve been able to note that the point of this post hasn’t been to justify away the behaviour of my generation and destroy all of the generations before me, but to be an equaliser to point out – pretty much all the problems that you’re blaming “the young people” for, are the same problems you have.

And probably, the same problems you helped passed on.

I remember going through a particular challenging season in my life and hearing someone ask, “Will you roll with the punches? Or will you pass them on?”

In other words, are you going to stay and address the problems that have come into your life, rightly or wrongly, right now, or are your kids and grandkids and friends and community going to have to suffer from having yet another person who projects and destroys others because that’s what they experienced themselves.

Generational trauma doesn’t have to be generational. You and I have the power to process it and to prevent it from being passed on.

You can actually drop your pride long enough to learn from maybe something wise a younger person is doing. As the story of Job shows us, it’s not always the older people who are right, and maybe you need a young friend like Elihu who can actually speak truth and wisdom into your life.

My favourite Old Testament figure is Hezekiah. He was king of Judah and all the generations before him had either introduced problems, or not really fixed enough of them, particularly around the worship of certain gods involving self mutiliation, dodgy sex practices and child sacrifice. And he stood up and made a lasting change for his generation, finally ending so many cycles passed down in his family and nation for generations.

And yet even he as he grew older fell into a similar trap, in that when he discovered a problem that would impact the next generations, he didn’t concern himself with it because it was going to take place after he had died. Even such a great figure and role model still fell into the same flaw so many of us do as we get older – we get proud, we stop caring, we stop contributing, and we just selfishlessly look down on the next generation as they suffer and struggle.

And even to the neglect of our own generation.

Did you know how many problems not just your children or grandchildren’s generations have, but how many active problems your current cohort continues to battle with? That they’re just as lonely, aimless, hurting and broken as the next one is, albeit with different technology and fashion?

What if you got out of your pride and stepped into humility and said, hey, there’s problems in my own life that I need to address, and there are problems in the lives of others that I’m going to learn about so I can help instead of hurt.

You could be the voice of the encourager, or the voice of the proud detractor who hated on others. Your choice.

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In conclusion, it turns out there is nothing new under the sun, and nothing has seized you except that which is common to mankind. Your generation’s mistakes are my generation’s mistakes, are the next generation’s mistakes.

Unless you choose to break the cycle.